Living With Intention | October 4th, 2006 
Volume 3, Issue 5 | Subscribe

To purchase Deanna’s Living With Intention book, Click Here

Feedback and Free Stuff

Great Resources

DeannaDavis.net

AppliedInsight.net

A Note from Deanna  

Welcome back! I always feel like Fall is the true New Year…it feels like such an opportunity for a fresh start and a new perspective. Join me in designing your own Extreme Makeover—Attitude Edition (see our feature article).

And be sure to check out the resources section for two phenomenal Fall offerings—events that will truly change your life. The Infinite Abundance workshop and tele-series (in October) and our one-of-a-kind Power Play Saturday workshop (in November). Both are designed to help you live the life of your dreams.

Read on for tools for transforming your life. 

Enjoy!

Deanna Davis, PhD

Deanna Davis, PhD deanna@appliedinsight.net www.AppliedInsight.net www.DeannaDavis.net

In this week's issue:

• Ideas for a Wildly Fulfilling Life: Extreme Makeover—Attitude Edition
• Ideas for a Remarkably Successful Life: POP!
• Resources That Will Change Your Life: Infinite Abundance and Power Play
• Feedback and Free Stuff: Win a book
• People Making a Difference: From Intention to Manifestation
• Contact Info

Ideas for a Wildly Fulfilling Life…
Extreme Makeover—Attitude Edition

The Before Picture—“Ms. Big Old Frenzy of the Month”  

I’d love to say that I’ve always operated in some Zen-like state of personal control and psychological empowerment.  But, I laugh even as I write that, and even more so when I imagine my previous experiences to the contrary, when overcommitted slammed headlong into overwhelmed.  Not a pretty pileup.  That’s why I like to share with you my own experiences as I apply all of these fabulous intention and Law of Attraction principles in my life.  It’s why I’m so stinkin’ passionate about it.  I know it works.  Introducing: Extreme Makeover—Attitude Edition.  

The “before” picture of my Extreme Makeover emerged over the course of a week, with the help of a phenomenal group of friends and an odd little conference activity.  It came only days after I had stayed up most of the night in an insomniac frenzy of list-writing and strategizing about how the bejeebers I was going to follow through on all of the commitments I had made.  I was starting to think that the only likely outcome would be less of a commitment to my deliverables and more of a commitment to a medical facility where people speak in soft voices and encourage you to complete your latch-hook pillow project.   

I had mind-mapped everything from my business to my baby girl’s needs and had bulleted my talking points, brownie points, and breaking points for pretty much every life area.  I turned to yoga, warm milk, and fragrant lavender baths, but every attempt to trick myself to sleep left me stretched, satiated, and scented, but even more alert than before.  I was a frenetic list-making machine.  

The next day happened to be one of my bi-weekly calls to my mastermind team—a mighty group of great thinkers dedicated to helping me stay successful…and, at times…sane.  On this particular day, I wept bitter tears as I recounted how I had wept bitter tears the night before, filled with anxiety about what needed to be done and how I felt so completely undone.  I was here to help people…but I, myself, was at my breaking point.   

My group listened patiently and gently calmed me down.  Then, with compassion, they served me a hearty helping of insight.  They shared with a touching blend of warmth and objectivity that this overwhelm, this frenzy of mine, was somewhat of a pattern for me (insert dramatic music and camera close-up here).  They noticed that things would be humming along brilliantly and blissfully and then, WHAM, all heck would break loose and I’d have a minor breakdown (which my dear friend classifies as “a breakthrough, Deanna, not a breakdown”).  Usually, they said, I would simply pick myself up, do a little strategizing, and get back on the path again until the next incident.   

They all asked some version of the question, “so, when are you going to decide not to go there anymore?”  This, I think, is the part of the reality program where the subject realizes that something has to change.  Only, on extreme makeover programs, a big semi-truck drives up and out jump hundreds of volunteers waiting to renovate their home, or a lovely motor home appears with a parade of experts to cure what ails them—doctors, chefs, trainers, coaches, psychics, and horse-whisperers.  Yet, for me, the revelation did not come complete with stream of specialists to “fix” me.  I had to create (gulp) my own little mental team of experts to swoop in and stitch up my psyche.  The nice thing was that I could choose to ban Dr. Phil in favor of Dr. Pepper if I wanted to, and my interior designer and landscape artist could design my outlook and landscape my perspective if I so decided.  Hmmmm….there might be something to this.  

It was tough to hear but true—it was time for a change and only I could make it happen.  I thought about it and decided that now would be the time I would decide “not to go there anymore,” and that I would use my mastermind group’s help and our upcoming trip to a great seminar (Jack Canfield’s Breakthrough to Success) to map out how to avoid getting into that state again.  

At the seminar, one of the exercises was to make a list of the ways I tended to limit myself—the things I do, or the ways I think, that create barriers for my success.  I made what, at that time, had become a fairly common list for me—what I dubbed as the “Tyranny of Toos and To-Dos.”  “I take on too much at once.  I say ‘yes’ too often when I want to say no.  I pack too much into my schedule.  I commit to too many ‘to-dos.’  I get too overwhelmed and frenzied,” and so on.  But it was the next part that really grabbed me.  Once I made that list of “limiting thoughts and behaviors,” I was charged with creating a stage or movie character that represented all of these things.  This character needed to walk, talk, act, and think exactly in the ways I tended to limit myself.  I was told to name this person and get a very clear picture of how she would act.  

I knew immediately what I would call this character:  “Ms. Big Old Frenzy of the Month” (the Big and Old referring to the frenzy, not to the Ms.).  I envisioned her walking around in a whirlwind of unfinished projects, emails, cell phones, and file folders, like a moderately clean, upbeat, and tech-savvy Pig Pen from the Charlie Brown cartoons.  She’d be walking along in this portable tumult with The Flight of the Bumblebee song blaring from an IPOD docking station, which was also haphazardly swirling about her.   

She would talk like a Valley Girl, high on four quad lattes with a Red Bull chaser, saying things like “Oh my GOSH.  I, like, can’t BELIEVE how much I have to DO.  I am SO over WHELMED and filled with total, like, ANGST.  I am FREAKING OUT.  I totally, can’t, like SLEEP.  Oh my GOSH.  I’m supposed to be totally HELPING people but even though I’ve mind-mapped my whole, like, LIFE and counted sheep and my blessings and my to-do list like fifty TIMES I still can’t SLEEP.  Maybe if I count BACKWARD and FORWARD at the same time, it will, like, totally SHUT DOWN my MIND.  100, 1, 99, 2, 98, 3…OHMYGOSH…I just thought of 3 more things I have to, like, DO…” and so on.  You get the picture.  

I sat there laughing hysterically to myself in the middle of this auditorium because this was exactly what I felt like in one of those “Ms. Big Old Frenzy” moments, down to the counting forward and backward strategy, which I literally had tried only a few nights before.  In case you’re wondering…it didn’t work.  The absurdity of my “alter-ego” was so clear to me that I actually got up on stage and portrayed her for hundreds of people in an attempt to solidify in my own mind how ridiculous it was to knowingly choose to be in this state.  

The moment really hit home for me when we were told that, in our role as director of our lives, we could simply cut this character from the cast and decide to replace her  with one who behaves in ways that support—rather than undermine—our success and fulfillment.  

I made the decision then and there to say goodbye to this character, rather than bringing in a legion of experts to try to “fix” her.  I decided I’d write into my life makeover a character who made great, empowered decisions not only about how to spend her time, but also about how to choose her state—how to decide which perspective and which emotional “setpoint” she wanted to be in at any given time.  Jodi, one of my mastermind team members, sealed the deal when she threw down the gauntlet and challenged me to “choose my state” at least 80% of the time, rather than allowing my reactionary mode to overtake me.

So, I came home and took her up on that challenge.  I orchestrated my own Extreme Makeover—Attitude Edition.  I put a few things in place that I knew would support me structurally, including:

• Letting go of some of my projects that I found less fulfilling or that I felt were not the best use of my unique gifts;

• Allowing others to take the lead on certain activities, because they were more enthusiastic, more capable, or simply had more time and energy to attend to these things;

• Creating more buffer space in my schedule to meet my commitments; and

• Being much more selective, and less apologetic, about the commitments I was willing to make. If I didn’t feel incredibly passionate and filled with joy at the prospect of doing it, I trained myself to say “no, thanks.”  

More importantly, though, I also put a few things into place that I knew would support me both physically and psychologically, including:  

• Weekly time for yoga and what I started calling “wealth walks” (walking for exercise while thinking of everything I’m grateful for), which center both my body and my mind;

• Daily time for deep breathing and/or meditation to silence my “monkey mind” and allow me the mental space to consciously choose both my state and my “next best step;”

• The practice of focusing only on the top 3-4 things each day that really must be done (and done by me), and allowing the other things on my “to do” list to patiently wait.  I made the conscious decision that when, inevitably, there were times when I wouldn’t be able to finish what I wanted to get done, I would need to let it go.  After all, if these things really aren’t going to get done (and I don’t have an alternative like asking for help), why torture myself by obsessing about it?  It won’t change the outcome and won’t make me feel any better, so why not let go?; and

• A habit of continually asking myself, “how do I choose to feel right now?” and “does my current outlook help me feel better or worse?”  The answers to these questions consistently serve as a re-set button to help me select a more productive, rational outlook in any given situation.  I focus on choosing peace, joy, acceptance, and energy, rather than frenzy, victimization, pessimism, or apathy.

The “After” Picture—“Ms. Revel in My Peaceful State Right Now”  

You know what?  These very simple practices have made a world of difference.  I’m proud to report that, after gladly accepting Jodi’s challenge to “choose my state” 80% of the time, I actually do that, and I’ve found that it gets easier all the time.   Better still, I am getting more done—both in quantity and quality—and I am regularly focusing on what is truly important to me.  

“Ms. Big Old Frenzy of the Month” was written out of the script months ago.  I replaced her with “Ms. Revel in My Peaceful State Right Now.”  I find that Ms. Revel has a huge number of fans (myself included) who tune in regularly to learn about her next adventures.  She didn’t even need a team of well-meaning experts to fix her up.  She just needed to make a choice…every day…about how she wanted to live her life.  And she seems a heck of a lot happier for it!  Why not give yourself an Extreme Makeover—Attitude Edition?  You never know how powerful your cast of characters can be until you start choosing the right ones to star in your own, personal reality show.

Ideas for A Remarkably Successful Life…  
POP!

Recently, I had the pleasure of listening to a wonderful speaker and author, Sam Horn, talk about what it takes to get your message noticed in almost any situation. Sam is the author of a great new book called POP! Stand Out In Any Crowd, which I highly recommend.

POP! stands for Purposeful, Original, and Pithy. Here’s a recap of what these critical communication concepts are:

• Purposeful: Purposeful communication “accurately articulates the essence of you and your offering, and positions you positively with your audience.” To me, this means meticulously clarifying your message and knowing detailed characteristics about the people you want to hear it. Know exactly who you are talking to and exactly what benefit they’ll receive from what you have to offer.

• Original: Originality is all about distinguishing yourself from your competition. When you are clear about what makes you different, you can more readily convey why that will make a difference for your audience. Sam refers to this as, “be original and offer something unlike anyone else…when you’re one of a kind, there is no competition.”

• Pithy: Pithy means “concise and precise.” Remember that the human brain can only process about seven pieces of information in short-term memory, so “pitches” that are longer than seven words are far less likely to be remembered. Sam cautions that “if they can’t repeat it, they won’t remember it.” Take a hint from all of the top advertising slogans of the twentieth century—every single one of them were seven words or less (think, “Where’s the Beef?” “Diamonds are Forever” and “Just Do It.”).  Your call to action—what you want them to do or remember—should be short and sweet.

So, whether you’re selling a product or service, titling a book, or networking, remember to keep it powerful and memorable.  Make it POP!

To order POP! from Amazon, click here or from Barnes and Noble, click here.