Living With Intention | February 9, 2007 
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A Note from Deanna  

Welcome back, subscribers. I hope the New Year has brought a whirlwind of energy and possibility into your life. It’s a great time of year to focus on what you want, rather than what you don’t want. Check out the feature article, “Don’t Freak Out,” for the reason why this is so important!

Be sure to treat yourself to some outstanding deals this month. Save 30% in February on all Living With Intention resources (books, audios, and inspirational products). See the Resources section for your special coupon code. And please, help spread the word about this special sale…we’d love your help getting these resources (and great deals) out to anyone who can benefit.

Here’s to an amazing 2007!


Deanna Davis, PhD

Deanna Davis, PhD deanna@appliedinsight.net www.AppliedInsight.net www.DeannaDavis.net

In this week's issue:

• Ideas for a Wildly Fulfilling Life: Don’t Freak Out 
• Ideas for a Remarkably Successful Life: From Chaos & Clutter to Peace & Productivity
• Resources That Will Change Your Life: Intentional Savings and Power Play
• Feedback and Free Stuff: Share Your Stories in Manifest This!
• People Making a Difference: The Art of Intention Retreat
• Contact Info

Ideas for a Wildly Fulfilling Life…
Don’t Freak Out  

“Don’t freak out, Deenie, everything’s ok.”  Standing in the foyer of a hacienda in Mexico , these were the first words that made their way across the static-drenched phone line into my waiting ears.  Amber, my amazing adult step-daughter, second mom to my 2-year old daughter Malina, was calling from thousands of miles away to share news she knew I’d want to hear.   

While my brain registered the words “Don’t freak out,” my mother’s instinct went into autopilot, creating a scene not unlike a nuclear power plant meltdown in my psyche.  Red lights flashed, eardrum-splitting alarms wailed, steam enveloped the frenzied scene, and I could have sworn I saw tiny people running through my neural corridors screaming, “SHE’S GONNA BLOW!”  Halfway across the world, at least a day’s travel away from my daughters, the words “Don’t freak out,” effectively created the most immediate and effective freak-out-a-thon I’ve ever experienced.  A blaring neon sign in my mind warned “Sector Four Contaminated!”  

My heart raced, my head tingled, and my legs felt weak.  All in a matter of seconds.  I tried to remain calm, but all the little nuclear power plant workers in my brain donned biohazard suits and anxiously monitored the erratic needles on my internal freak-o-meter.  Milliseconds seemed like millenniums as pictured a wide array of crises that may have befallen one or both of my daughters while I was indulging in a margarita or two poolside in Puerto Vallarta .  In the most calm voice I could muster, I stammered, “wh…wh…wh…wh…what’s going on, Amber?”  

“Mal and I are fine, but I thought you’d want to know that someone tried to break into the house while we were there last night.  When I heard the noises, I got Mal, locked both of us in your room, and we called 911.  The police came and checked everything out.  They found where the people tried to get in, but they said everything’s safe and secure now.  We’re ok and the house is fine.”  

The little nuclear workers scattered to turn the release valves and the freak-o-meter started showing more reasonable levels of activity.  The alarms subsided and a soft, reassuring voice oozed from the loudspeaker in my brain, assuring “All clear.  The area has been secured.”  I exhaled the deepest breath I’ve ever released and proceeded to learn more about what had happened and how Amber and Mal were doing.  Thankfully, they were safe and sound after a most unsettling event.  

After the adrenaline wore off (perhaps two or three months later!), I started to reflect on why I had such an immediate, visceral response to those three words when Amber was clearly and thoughtfully trying to convey that everything was all right.  I recalled an explanation I heard from an outstanding speaker, who said, “the mind doesn’t understand the word “don’t.  You can’t associate a picture with the word don’t like you can with other things, so when you say ‘don’t think about this,’ or ‘don’t focus on that,’ your mind filters out the word don’t and effectively programs you to think about exactly what you’re trying to avoid.”  Aha!  There it is.  For me, the words “don’t freak out” efficiently translated to the words “freak out big time” in a fraction of a second.  

Why does this matter and how does this relate to intention and the Law of Attraction?  Aside from eliciting empathy and compassion from other parents who, no doubt, felt my pain in this story, there’s a practical side to the tale.  Quite simply, it is far more productive to focus on what you DO want, rather than what you DON’T want.  Sounds reasonable, but it’s actually quite a challenge, since our society is inundated with don’ts of all shapes, colors, and sizes.  Don’t overeat.  Don’t get too stressed.  Don’t forget this, don’t go here, don’t do that. What kind of results would we produce if we focused on the “dos” instead?  Markedly better ones, I imagine.   Do eat a balanced diet.  Do relax and take a deep breath.  Do remember this, do go there, do that.  With these statements, we know where we stand.  We know our next steps.  We’re empowered to choose and to act.

So, if you want to avoid obsessing about your unfinished to-do list at 3 a.m., rather than telling yourself, “don’t think about that massively overwhelming litany of un-dones,” redirect your thinking to what you do want, such as relaxation or peaceful sleep or efficient resolution to the items on your list.  Reframe your intent not to fixate on the disappointment you experienced at work today, by choosing instead to focus on what you are grateful for or what you did accomplish.  Rather than telling yourself, “don’t consume the entire box of truffles in the kitchen,” decide what you will do—savor the exquisite indulgence of one or two.   

Ideas for A Remarkably Successful Life…  
From Chaos & Clutter to Peace & Productivity  

Speaking of less stressful and more productive, I am an unabashed raving fan of David Allen’s book, Getting Things Done: The Art of Stress-Free Productivity.  Allen presents one of the easiest, most practical systems I’ve ever seen for managing your time, priorities, and paperwork.  His strategies have absolutely transformed my office and my daily experience.  Although I highly recommend getting the book and applying all of his wonderful techniques, I’ve listed below a few of my favorite recommendations from his book:  

1)     Have a single in-box that serves as the channel for everything that comes into your home or office.  When you have one receptacle for receiving, you simplify the act of sorting and categorizing everything.  When you sort through your in-box, every single thing gets either thrown or filed in its appropriate place, and every single thing that requires action or attention (as opposed to supporting documents, which just get filed), should have an identified “next step” for it.  Knowing a single next step to move each project forward will change everything about how you work.

2)    Create an easy-to-use, convenient filing system that houses all of your written materials.  In the physical world, this takes the form of a single A-Z filing system of plain, uniform manila folders (all left or center cut tabs), clearly labeled with an electronic labeler.  In the virtual world, this can include using software such as Microsoft Office or One Note, or Lotus Notes to track information and next steps.

3)     Create a list of every single open project you have.  A project is defined as any outcome you want to achieve that has more than one step to it.  If it requires two or more actions, it goes on the project list.

4)     Create a folder (hard copy or virtual or both) that houses all of the information for each of your individual projects.  This is the central location for all of the supporting materials, brainstorming ideas, research, and next steps that will help you manage this project to completion.

5)     Create a variety of “next steps” lists that capture the next steps for each of your current projects.  The best way to create these lists is by their context—focusing on where you do the work on the list.  For instance, you may have one for phone calls, one that requires a computer, one that requires being at home, one for the office, and one for running errands.  By keeping your next steps sorted by context, you can use “found time” more effectively to complete tasks from your project list and you always know which tasks can be completed with which resources (phones, computers, car) you have at your disposal.

6)     Review your project list at least weekly, and your next steps lists at least daily to be sure you are staying on top of your highest priorities and opportunities.  A system like this is only effective to the extent that you use it as a living entity.  It requires consistent review and updating to be sure that you can trust it to hold every priority and produce every effective next step for you.  

Consider purchasing David’s book (order here) and implementing his system within one month  You’ll be stunned at the way it will transform your life.  He takes you step-by-step through the setting up, sorting, and systematizing every aspect of your work and life to actually get things done.  Tools for stress-free productivity…what a novel—and welcome—concept!